


Mr Mertini

by thesoundofnat



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Crack, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 11:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12456976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: Rhodey buys a merman ornament that looks just like Tony and Tony is not amused (okay, maybe a little).





	Mr Mertini

**Author's Note:**

> My friend sent me [this post](https://cornerstoretylenol.tumblr.com/post/166679159519/deerly-my-darling-sticky-bombshellsv2) on tumblr and told me that Mr Mertini looked just like Tony and that Rhodey would probably tease the shit out of him, and thus this fic was born.
> 
> Here's a [picture](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51G5IWSvGOL._SL1002_.jpg) of Mr Mertini for reference.

Rhodey was a goddamn asshole.

Which, when he thought about it, was probably why he liked him so much.

But still.

Asshole.

It had started when his friend had found a picture of it on the internet, having sent an hysteric text to Tony when he’d been in the middle of a meeting. Tony had known then that he’d never live this down, and he’d been correct. Three weeks later and Rhodey had managed to find one to order and presented it to him with no comment. Tony’s life had gone downhill since then.

It was two weeks until Christmas, and Tony only decorated on principle now, because anyone who found themselves in his home would ask about it if he didn’t. But he also knew that the twinkling lights and random figurines made Pepper happy, so he now did it without any complaints, much to everyone’s relief.

He was in the middle of decorating the tree with Happy to surprise Pepper when Rhodey walked in, having let himself in as usual. He looked giddy, though a mischievous glint to his eye told Tony this wouldn’t be pleasant for him. He just knew it.

“Guess what I have?” he sang before even saying hello (he had obviously spent too much time around Tony by now).

“Holiday spirit?”

“Mr Mertini!”

“Mr… what?” Happy had been spared of Rhodey’s hideous discovery, but Tony should’ve known he wouldn’t remain oblivious forever.

“How could you keep Mr Merini from him, Tones?”

“Please leave.”

“No way. Not until I see him hanging on your tree.”

“That’s disturbing.”

“You’ll get over it.”

Rhodey fished out the abomination from his pocket with a smug grin, and Tony really wanted to knock it out of his hands, but he knew Rhodey would never forgive him.

Happy took one look at the merman before bursting into laughter, and not even Tony threatening to fire him could stop it now. On one hand he knew the man needed the temporary joy. On the other he would probably never look at Tony in the same way again. Goddammit, Rhodey.

“I swear that I didn’t pose for it and have absolutely nothing to do with it,” Tony said once he calmed down, forcing his face to remain neutral.

“That is- he looks-”

“Just like me. Yes, I know.”

In Rhodey’s palm a small ornament of a merman with a red glittering tail was staring back at them while holding a drink - a martini, he reckoned. He was wearing a big necklace and bracelets, and his face was decorated with a dark painted beard that almost looked like a goatee. And he looked eerily similar to Tony. Like, so similar Tony was considering suing them.

He could understand why Rhodey found it so funny, but going out of his way to buy one was just childish. Yes, he probably would’ve done it had he been in Rhodey’s position, but he was no James Rhodes, okay?

“I want him to sit as close to the top as possible so that Tony can’t reach it.”

“Now you’re just being petty.”

“And if you happen to do reach him and get rid of him, I have an identical one in my own tree at home. It’d pain me to part with him, but I would be willing to make the sacrifice.”

“Why do you hate me? Is it because of that night at college? Look, I didn’t mean to lock you out in the middle of the winter.”

Rhodey ignored him and walked up to the half decorated tree instead, cradling Mr Mertini as if it was his child. Tony knew he could stop him, but he watched him reach up and place the ornament onto the tree anyway.

“He seems to like it up there,” Happy said, still sounding amused, though he tried to tone it down a bit.

“He sure does,” Rhodey replied, sending Tony a smirk.

Tony rolled his eyes. “If Pepper wants to take him down though I’m not stopping her.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll love him.”

“You’ve already sent her a picture, haven’t you?”

“Who do you think encouraged me to order it in the first place?”

“I’m surrounded by traitors.”

But it was worth it when Pepper joined them later and had a good laugh about it. In fact, watching the three of them display so much joy over something so trivial was enough for Tony to consider to keep Mr Mertini out year round, though he wouldn’t tell any of them that of course. No, he would keep up his facade until the day he - or Mr Mertini - died.

He knew they had probably seen through him anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)


End file.
